We’ve done a lot of renovations in 21 years. I think every house we have lived in except for our first condo has had major work done – some out of necessity, some out of desire – and we knew going in this one was going to be bigger than all of the rest.

In all of that time, we have added 2 complete kitchens, 2 full bathrooms, renovated 5 or 6 other bathrooms and we have never had to call a plumber. That streak ended in a big way this weekend when Drew tried to make my one wish for Mother’s Day of having running water in our kitchen sink a reality.

At about 9:00 Saturday night, after a full day of connecting the faucet and instant hot water dispense (a must for every kitchen I will ever own again) and coaching 3 lacrosse games, Drew headed to the basement to tackle the last step of disconnecting the old sink drain to the new sink so we could turn the faucets on. We had disconnected the other line almost 7 weeks before, so in theory the drain should have been empty.

That theory was sooooooooo wrong. I was sitting in the room above where he was working and could hear him sawing through the drain, and then suddenly I heard the loudest scream ever out of my husband followed by the loudest gagging I have ever heard out of any person in my life.

I rushed to open the door to the garage and I cannot even tell you the stench that hit me the second the door opened. Apparently, not only was the drain not empty, but it was filled with 30+ years of the most disgusting gunk I have ever seen or smelled in my life, and my poor husband was covered with it as well.

It was bad ya’ll. Like he stripped-down-and-threw-his-clothes-away-that-moment bad. Like he hosed-off-outside-and-didn’t-even-want-to-come-into-the-house-until-he-soaked-for-a-good-5-minutes bad. I think he took the longest shower I have ever witnessed as well.

So we ate out yesterday (Zapata‘s again – so, so yummy) and this morning I had to pick up the phone and call the plumber. In 21 years we have never had to call a plumber. I cannot even begin to imagine how many thousands of dollars that has saved us, and I don’t care what this guy charges, it will be worth it to know we will be starting fresh with an entirely new drain pipe and a septic-assist garbage disposal to prevent this from ever happening again.

And here’s a word of advise from said-plumber: don’t ever, ever, ever pour Liquid Plumber down your sink when you think it’s clogged with grease. It basically solidifies to concrete and causes a worse clog. Here’s a link to a Consumer Reports article stating that if you pour in too much, “it can turn into a solid, stonelike block that’s almost impossible to remove.”

So after our Mother’s Day adventures, I am pretty sure we will never by Liquid Plumr (or any other chemical cleaner) again. Hopefully I’ve saved at least one of you from having to call a plumber in the future as well.