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Recent Posts

When the Streak Comes to an End
The Best Laid Plans
Bare Bones
Sledgehammer – Part 1
1 Down, 2 to Go

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May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016

I started a bible study called Give Thanks by @shereadstruth that the daughter of a dear friend gave to me (thank you @cflickk ) and was reminded this morning that one of the things I often talked to P about was the things we can and cannot control…the latter being things like how tall/big we are, the former being things like our attitude. . . November is the season people often talk about “giving thanks” and I realized this morning that I CAN give thanks in this season of mourning because I had absolutely nothing to do with how incredible my children were and are, and how blessed I was that God gave them to me. I can cry because of the sadness and missing and longing and just plain hurt in my heart, and be thankful in the same exact moment because I did not deserve any of the joy that I experienced at the hands of that kid for almost 19 incredible years. I have memories that could go on for days and while I wish we could all have made more of them, while I wish God had a different plan for when Parker would leave us, I am SO thankful for those memories, for his friends who continue to share pictures and recollections of things P did that are etched in their memories, teachers he had in middle school who tell me they are praying for us. . . We can all choose our attitudes and how we wake up to see the day. And this day I CHOOSE to GIVE THANKS TO GOD because He IS good, and He works ALL things together for good, and I WILL spend forever with Parker again one day. How will you choose to see this day? #fearlesspfred #rejoiceinthelordalways #givethanks #lovewell #snoot #peanut #godisgood #countyourblessings #sendyourkidsasurprisetoday

5 months. . . This first thing I saw on Instagram this morning was a clip of @iamtomwalker singing “I Will Leave a Light On” and of course the tears started to flow. I watch this video most nights before I go to bed to remember that sweet smile and hear that deep voice. I walk to his gravesite almost every day just to say “hey peanut” (thank you to whoever left the flowers). He’s just missed so much...and not just by us I know as I still get texts and cards and messages of love and thoughts and memories...& I treasure them all. #fearlesspfred . . I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Ps 27:13-14

I would rather walk with a friend in the dark than walk alone in the light. -Helen Keller. . . . . A weekend at the beach with these incredible women was so healing to my heart this weekend. We laughed, we cried, we ate, we sang, we walked, we biked, we celebrated a birthday...but more importantly we opened our hearts to one another and exposed the scars on our hearts and were still we able to feel God’s love and know there is hope even in our darkest moments.

Got the sweetest of gifts yesterday from @jenniferbritt101 that left me speechless. She joined us the summer of 2003 for a family vacation and snapped this picture of P playing in the water, fearless & focused. The artist who painted this did an incredible job and truly captured Parker’s energy. it’s now hanging beside my bed. A treasured gift from a treasured friend who’s been in my life 35+ years. #fearlesspfred #friendship #emeraldisle #imissyou #gonebutnotforgotten . . Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest, it’s about who walked in to your life, said ‘I’m here for you,’ and proved it. Unknown

4 months. There are moments when it seems like the blink of an eye, and others where it seems like eternity. Do you know how much you were loved? Do you know how much you are missed each and every day? I hope you do Snoot. You were one of a kind P. Lived every day to the fullest and showed us we need to do the same. And I thank God every day that He loved me enough to give you to me even if for only 18 far-too-brief years. It’s so hard knowing I’ll never have any new pictures of that fluffy head or tan smile. No new pics of you flexing that crazy bicep. 😉💪 “The God that I know has experienced pain and therefore understands my pain. He is not aloof from my suffering but draws near to me when I suffer... We will not be delivered from suffering, but with God’s help, we can be transformed by it.” #agracedisguised #fearlesspfred #resteasypeanut #gonebutnotforgotten #everydayisarmday #treasureeverymoment #everydayisagift #mommasboy #dothething #takethetrip #countyourblessings

Yesterday I experienced pure, unobstructed JOY for the first time since Parker’s death. There were tears of joy instead of tears of sorrow and my heart felt like it was able to enjoy a moment of absolute light. We missed P being beside us but know he was with us in spirit (& gave us the incredible weather I think) Thank you @megatron_says & @donniegoodtimes for letting us be a part of your special day. We love you to the moon and back. #dreamsreallydocometrue #godisgood #allthefeels

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